Mindfulness is an essential ingredient in a healthy relationship to money; when you’re mindful about what you spend and how you make financial decisions, everything supports your intentions and higher values. When you ignore mindfulness—maybe because you’re stressed or don’t even HAVE a clear vision of what you want your money to do for you—you tend to waste money.
What Mindfulness Means
Mindfulness is about staying in the present moment and really taking in all information about what you’re experiencing, how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking. My first experience with mindfulness was with mindful eating—which is NOT easy. The objective of mindfulness—in money and in food—is to eliminate the stress and emotion that drive you to eat more or spend more. It’s about being so aware of what is going on that you aren’t able to use money or food (or whatever) as a way to block out thoughts and feelings.
Sometimes we WANT to block thoughts and feelings, especially if we’re not ready to deal with them. When I work with clients 1:1, I have found some people are super –attached to specific expenses. One guy, several years ago, refused to even consider cutting back on his happy hour expense with his colleagues. His spouse and I didn’t object to the activity, we just objected to him buying several rounds of drinks for colleagues when it wasn’t reciprocated. He may have thought he was getting friendship from that experience, but if he were truly mindful, I think he would have found that expense was masking something else. Maybe he didn’t want to know.
Mindfulness and Priorities
Bottom line, you can’t reach your money goals until you’re crystal clear about what is happening. But mindfulness doesn’t mean getting lost in the minutiae of money management—especially if you do those things out of fear of what would happen if you didn’t do those things.
Mindfulness is power. Mindfulness is knowing that your money decisions—be it buying the latte today or investing your money tomorrow—are in alignment with what you want to get from your money. Your fundamental desire map for money drives your day-to-day choices.
For one client, mindfulness changed the way she entertains herself. She told me that sitting in the middle of the chi-chi restaurant she had been dying to go to, she realized she felt isolated, distracted and unconnected from her spouse. It was almost too loud to have a conversation. In that moment, she realized that if she stayed, she would only be making the best of things—and wasting money–versus truly enjoying the experience. So after checking in with her spouse, they got up and left…and found a better way to get to those feelings she wanted to experience, for a lot less money.
Actions This Week
- Take a mindfulness break. Resolve to not spend any money for the next several days without centering yourself and your breath.
- Ask the mindful question. Before making a money-related decision, ask yourself: “In this moment, will this decision support my highest values for my money?” What makes you feel good now might now feel good a week from now, in the context of your higher goals.
- Allow mindfulness mistakes. I’m always screwing up mindful eating! Give yourself a break as you practice mindful money.
P.S. Do you want to be more mindful? You should download my free ebook on Conscious Spending, which has helped tons of people become more mindful with their money!