Last Monday morning, I felt awful. It wasn’t about money drama, but all the same, I was grumpy and angry–for no good reason I could identify! I couldn’t figure out what was causing the negativity, which made me even MORE angry that I couldn’t just “be aware” and knock myself out of my angst. I know that my feelings are supposed to be a message for me, but what were they trying to say? I figured, I would relate this little experience so that maybe you can apply this process to your own money drama.
How To Identify The Root of Money Drama
I didn’t start to get a handle on it until I went to yoga. My instructor asked me how I was doing, and all I came out with was, “Unh-hrmph.” She smiled, and said, “…and what does that mean?”
It just came out: “I have Tyrannosaurus Rex energy… RAWR! I feel grumpy and aggressive…” and made the little T-Rex short-arm clawing motion. Completely didn’t faze my yoga instructor. She said, “Does T-Rex feel like doing some yoga?” Well, the thought of T-Rex attempting yoga did the trick and I cracked up, and was able to let go enough to get in some yoga time (in fact, I have Martin Whitmore of Ideaschema to thank for creating the perfect companion illustration to this post of T-Rex attempting downward-facing dog).
But after yoga, the feeling came back. So I decided to jerry-rig some coaching tools I almost never use: I would ASK T-Rex what the deal was. There are three questions when you have a metaphor or a figure emerging from a dream or strong emotion:
- State you are the thing
- Describe what you are in at least 3 words or more
- Explain how you are here to help
So, I gave it a shot…
“RAWR! I’m Tyrannosaurus Rex and I am grumpy, aggressive and fierce. I can kill anything in my path and chomp up anything that tries to attack me! And I am here to help Mindy be protected from disappointment.”
YIKES. When you adopt the persona, its answers just come out and you have no idea what you’re going to say. I realized that I was getting worked up over offering my first program in years, and the REASON I was worked up was that I had unconsciously developed attachment to its outcome. T-Rex was trying to protect me from feeling disappointment over the program results, even BEFORE anything had actually happened!
Attachment to outcome is something that most people have when it comes to money drama. Everyone wants things to happen a certain way, and if it doesn’t, we start to freak out. Or in my case, I IMAGINED things wouldn’t work out (no one would be interested in the program, people would think I’m a dork, etc.), so I started freaking out even before I had any data.
The good news was, once I realized I felt the attachment, I could take steps to become more detached (which I outline here) and start to feel more connected to my purpose again.
One of my friends commented that my extreme emotion and breakthrough could be an indication that I just reached a higher level of money competency. I have no idea if this is true (although wouldn’t it be nice?), I only know that NO ONE is immune to attachment. The point is, how fast can you become aware of your money drama before you come back from it?
Money Yoga To Reduce Attachment
As I continue on with yoga (even with short little T-Rex arms), I am constantly reminded of the parallels between an ideal yoga practice and an ideal money life:
Your practice doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s to work just fine for you. It’s only our attachment to the future that forces us to worry over money drama. Even if you’re not doing the same thing as the person next to you, that doesn’t mean you don’t have forward momentum.
Trust your body to let you know what is right for you each day. I am continually amazed at seeing how once people allow themselves to be conscious about what is going on, they choose next steps perfectly.
Some days you’ll seek your edge, and some days you’ll want to be gentle. You never need to “force” yourself to do something that you don’t feel like doing on any given day. Trust that you’ll feel differently another day (or feel better about a different way).
Breathe through the stiffness and soreness. I have found that with yoga, sometimes I just need to keep breathing and a muscle will release. When people are experiencing similar sticking points with their money drama, sometimes a new solution will emerge simply by breathing and sitting with it awhile (and allowing it to exist instead of trying to bury or ignore it).
Instead of becoming frustrated that you can’t do X, appreciate yourself for the steps you take today. The minute you start to compare yourself or your money to someone else’s accomplishments, you’re in danger of quitting—usually abandoning the very behaviors that were helping you make progress.
Both money and yoga require you to lose your preconceived notions of what you “should” be and allow you to meet yourself where you are.
Actions This Week
- Find your T-Rex. If your emotions or money drama were a person, place or thing, what would it be? How would it describe itself? How is it here to help you?
- Practice Detachment. My first step to detachment is always about bringing fun back in, but for you, it might be self care or something else. What action can you take to release attachment?
- Renew Daily. Start to look at your money life as something you renew and refresh daily. Take a breath each day and decide, what will my money practice look like today? And then trust the answer.
And if you want some help managing your energy around money, you can download my free ebook on Money Chakras, which helps you eliminate the money blocks and bring better energy to your money results. You can download that here.