If you’ve ever experienced money struggles (and who hasn’t?), sometimes it’s hard to get out of survival mode and into a prosperity mindset. I know that when I was going through a rough financial time, it was important to understand my personal dynamic before I could move forward in prosperity.
The difference between survival and security
When money is coming in regularly, it’s easier to feel confident that you’ll be provided for, and continue to secure, safe and supported. When there are money struggles, some people tend to panic and lose those secure feelings and start to feel a sense of scarcity and fear and lack. We might even feel like a victim, that this lack of money is being “done” to us somehow.
When we’re in that mind frame, we tend to make really bad decisions. Here are the most common decisions I have observed when people come from that place of survival:
False Faith (law of attraction) – People feel the need to “prove” they have faith in their future earning power by buying things, going into debt, etc. LOA doesn’t want you to prove anything and LOA definitely doesn’t want you to go into debt without a realistic plan to get out of it. The authentic practice of law of attraction means to make peace with your current reality before moving forward. Love your current reality, regardless of how much or little money you have.
Magical Solutions – This is frequently an issue with business owners. Sometimes survival mode can trigger the belief that this one THING (website, program, etc.) will solve all of their current problems and get them back on track. Often, this magical solution costs more than they can currently afford. I have found that very rarely do they need the full scope of what they think they need. The real solutions is to separate tools you can implement incrementally from the Swiss army knife “ultimate problem solvers” (they don’t exist).
Avoidance – Because you don’t FEEL like you’re in control or the source of your abundance, you divorce yourself from taking responsibility for it. You use your stories and circumstances as a shield, instead of dealing with what is right in front of you and accepting that what you need to do now is temporary. Fundamentally, the solution to any avoidance is to question it: What are you resisting by avoiding? For me, it was the fear that I would NEVER dig myself out of my money struggles, so why look too closely. Once I shone a light on my unspoken fear, I realized it was silly.
Belligerence – If you’ve been dealing with money struggles for awhile, sometimes you start to become worn down and defensive. “Darn it, I am sick and tired of feeling like I never have enough, screw it!” and then you go and put yourself into debt for something frivolous. You can’t cut out everything; you still need to experience pleasure, even if it’s on a budget. When you start feeling belligerent, remind yourself that there is a reason for the lack of money…and what is the growth you’re receiving from this experience?
Giver Guilt – As nurturers, hard workers and people who make things happen, sometimes it’s difficult to believe that you can sit back and just RECEIVE abundance. So we make it very hard for anyone or anything to give something to us, because we’re so ingrained in our role as GIVER. This was a huge lesson for me: Money coming in is the act of receiving. Stop overfunctioning all of the time :o)
Attachment – Attachment is the idea that money has to come to us in a specific way or amount or time, or it isn’t “right.” Our attachment to outcome (control freakishness) prevents us from letting things unfold—sometimes in a better way than we ever could have imagined. Remind yourself to stay open to possibility.
Even when our money life isn’t going exactly how we want it to (and when does it ever?), you need to accept that in order to move out of survival and experience more prosperity, security and abundance, you need to take total responsibility for it. This might mean accepting and owning that:
- Even though we were raised in a crappy way, we’re powerful adults who can change our dynamics now that we’re aware of them
- Even though we have made poor decisions in the past, we are resourceful and don’t need anyone or anything to solve problems
- Even though life might never be struggle-free, we can feel solid and secure as we build ourselves a better foundation
Even though we might be stuck in survival mode right now, we are getting better and better at shifting that mindset and releasing our resistance to a new way of being.
Here are some steps you can take to shift out of survival mode:
Acknowledge your responsibility in the dynamic you took on from your family. I had major stories that I adopted from my father about self employment, because he always wanted to be an entrepreneur, but pointed to my family (and blamed us as his burden) as the reason he couldn’t. I took on the stories that:
- Self employment was risky
- Self employment meant no one supports you
- Self employed people fail
- Family is too much responsibility and burden
- Family prevents you from following your dreams
- Employment traps you
- Kids prevent you from being self employed
I had to take MAJOR responsibility for releasing these early on in my career—and it doesn’t seem like any coincidence that I am self employed, does it? My whole career has been about negating my family legacy and building my own new legacy. You have to take ownership before it’s yours to release.
Take responsibility for your worry and energy levels. What you think and feel is vitally important to changing to a prosperity mindset. You can’t be happy and fearful at the same time…so focus on always shifting yourself to more good-feeling thoughts. You can improve your energy by becoming present, so whenever I feel the worry start to take over, I remember to become present again. For me, that might include:
- Playing with pets
- Yoga or exercise
- Guided meditation
- Journal of appreciation
Work on Financial Foundation Clarity. Your financial foundation includes Cash Flow, Cash Reserves and Debt. You will have trouble building and expanding your foundation until you’re very clear on how your life interacts with these three areas (and until you feel secure).
Commit to 15-30 minutes per week reviewing these areas. And treat yourself too…put on good music, get a really good cup of coffee and make the experience pleasant.
And whenever you take financial action (or buy something) that deviates from the norm, ask yourself:
- Am I attached to an outcome?
- What is the story behind this purchase?
- What is my current emotional state?
Survival mode and money struggles are never fun, but if you commit to working toward a more conscious prosperity mindset, you can start to feel more stable and secure even during the middle of money issues.
No spam. No games. Just timely, insanely useful content to help you grow your money.