Attachment to outcome is the idea that a situation must play out in a certain way in the best interests of your life, relationship, business etc. People decide that there is only ONE solution and then become fixated on making that happen, regardless of obstacles or other data. When this happens, you’re not only ignoring potential new developments and the current reality, you’re also wasting money and time implementing the supposed ideal solution.
How Attachment Wastes Money
When people become attached, they often make the following mistakes:
Stop looking for other potential solutions for the situation. Instead of acknowledging that you could be happy in many, MANY different homes, you become obsessed with one specific home and outbid all of the other buyers.
Forget the problem might not actually be the real problem. Carla became obsessed with having a perfectly functional home office and spent several thousands of dollars revamping her guest bedroom—only then realizing she would have been better served using that money to hire a babysitter to occupy her children while she snuck off to Starbucks with her laptop to work in peace.
Disconnect from purpose. Countless people get carried away with renovating their home with the top-of-the-line appliances and finishes when they would have been just as happy with the look and function of less expensive items—especially when they don’t know how to cook!
Lose Sight of the Essence. A person can have the essence of anything—comfort, serenity, functionality—without spending much money at all. Sometimes people lose sight of how they want something to make them FEEL, or decide arbitrarily that the thing they are attached to will get that for them. This is why I own 20 lipsticks and rarely wear them—I THINK lipstick will make me feel more beautiful, but in reality, it never does. I have learned (and am STILL learning) that the things that make me feel beautiful almost never involve spending money.
Rely on Other People To “Save” Them. Especially as a small business owner, it’s easy to WANT to believe that investing in one program or coach will magically fix your business issues—but it never happens that way. The reality is that there are countless smaller steps to take the cost nothing but will ultimately bring us closer to our ideal business.
Try To Create The Perfect Experience. Marie was hoping for a perfect anniversary dinner with her husband, Dan, so she booked an expensive restaurant, bought a new outfit and got her hair done. At the dinner, Dan was tired and distracted after a long day at work—he would have preferred waiting for the weekend, but didn’t mention it to Marie, and she didn’t ask. Instead of a relaxed, enjoyable dinner, they ended up being angry and uncommunicative, each blaming the other for a ruined evening.
A common theme throughout all of the five ways that attachment wastes money is the idea of getting your thinking out of the way so you can understand the core issue. In the above situation with Dan and Marie, the core issue was having an enjoyable SHARED experience . . . if Dan and Marie had started by discussing what that looked like for each of them, their evening would have turned out a lot differently.
Five Ways To Become More Detached
Make Peace With How Things Are. Come from a point of acceptance that even if your current reality isn’t perfect, it doesn’t prevent you from being at peace. You can always decide to change the future, once you’re grounded and centered.
Think Creatively. We often get in ruts with the way we proceed through a typical day, and I have found bucking the routine helps me get out of my thinking ruts as well. Take a different route home, have breakfast for dinner or go stand outside for 15 minutes and do nothing. Then you can brainstorm new ideas and solutions for your existing attachment issues.
Drill Down The Attachment. When feeling attached, I find it useful to ask myself, “What what will THAT get me?” and then to keep asking after every answer—eventually I’ll uncover the crazy reality my brain is trying to talk me into. Once I understand the illusion my brain is engaged in, my attachment becomes all the more apparent. And once I’m aware, I become detached and am open to alternatives.
Identify The Essence. Before ever solving anything, ask yourself: what is the end “feeling” goal for this solution? Success, security, satisfaction, serenity? How can you get more of that emotion right now, before you go out and try to “solve” your feelings?
Do Less. Throw out the idea that you have to “solve” anything . . . sit with your issue, discuss it with friends and see what happens if you live in imperfection for awhile. You might still decide to make a change, but making the decision to let it ride reduces the urgency that can come up when you’re in “fix-it” mode.
I guarantee that if you start bring the concept of attachment into your money decisions, you’ll save countless dollars. And, you’ll get closer to the ultimate goal of spending consciously—and more happily–in ALL areas of your life.
P.S. This concept gets covered more fully in my free ebook Money Chakra, which helps you eliminate your money blocks from an energetic standpoint, which I have found is the most effective way to make sure they stay gone for good! You can download that free ebook here.