In last week’s post, I talked about knowing your real desires and how that can help you be more strategic with your money.
That’s a lot of the battle; know what you really want in life. But unless you’re willing to give voice to those goals and dreams, they might not go anywhere (and that would be a shame!).
Part of your money mindset is about speaking your truth out into the world. If you’re able to say everything you like and you don’t like, and communicate clearly about those things, you save lots of time and money that might otherwise be wasted because you kept your mouth shut, maybe to avoid offending others.
Makes sense, right?
And that can have a big impact on your finances.
Speaking your truth
It can be tough to live from a place where we speak our truth as often as we ought to — especially as women. A man who is forthright and speaks his mind might be admired, while a woman who does the same could be called pushy or bitchy.
It’s a double standard, to be sure, but even worse, it means that we are trained (and train ourselves) to keep quiet, keep our truth to ourselves, and don’t rock the boat.
But when you keep that truth bottled up, it can translate to money problems.
Back in my days with my old broker dealer, I had to keep my mouth shut ALL OF THE TIME. I felt like I couldn’t be myself and be accepted in the company culture — or, really, the industry culture. I didn’t realize anyone behaved any differently in the finance industry. It was a strong misalignment of values and beliefs, and it showed up for me in money problems. I was earning a lot, but I was also spending a lot in ways that weren’t really in alignment with who I wanted to be–and giving away a lot too, for no good reason!
By the time I realized it, the stress of keeping my mouth shut started manifesting as health issues, too. I ended up with adrenal and thyroid problems — commonly linked with the throat chakra. If I’d only spoken up and listened to my own truth, I could have saved my health and my finances.
If you find you:
- Can’t ask for a raise you deserve, or can’t speak your mind in salary/price negotiations
- Can’t say “no” when someone asks to borrow money (even if you don’t want to give it)
- Can’t ask for money that others owe you
- Can’t seek financial help from a professional when you need it
- Can’t communicate with your partner or loved one about money issues…
You probably need help speaking your truth.
Freeing your voice
It may seem simple, but the solution to improving your mindset is . . . speaking up.
I know, I know: easier “said” than done.
Take a few moments to write down your deep personal truths about money and finances.
Are you worth more than you’re being paid? Do you deserve to be paid for your work? Are you uncomfortable with a financial situation you’re in? Do you have something you really want to tell your significant other?
Write it all down, and then practice saying it out loud. Get in front of a mirror and have an (awkward? probably) conversation with yourself. Practice what you would say if the other person was standing in front of you.
If you still can’t have the conversation face to face, what else can you do? Write a letter or email? Get a message through an intermediary?
I saw recently a woman offering a service for small business owners, where she will follow up on all your past-due invoices for you. My immediate thought? BRILLIANT. She’s providing a service and removing a barrier that so many solopreneurs face.
How can you make your voice heard?
Baby steps are fine. And check out my Awesome Goal Planners…one way to help you speak your truth is to get super clear on what you want to happen going forward! You can get it here.